Of Furs and Oaths
by St.Alya
Summary: In which the statement of his birthright inspires utter dedication in his brother. And in which Fili starts to accept better the crown he will have to carry, one day, because he is sharing his burdens.


**Oh, here goes!**

**I wrote this as a prequel to 'A King that is not yet King'. It happens during two moments of the brother's lives in the Blue Mountains and is divided in two parts (their age at that moment is told by the two numbers right beside Part I and Part II, as you know, Fili is the elder). **

**I tried to write about a few of the things that Fili is thinking about as he is explaining Bilbo the meaning of dwarves' braids, since he is pondering about some serious moments in his relationship with Kili. This is about how they got together, really.**

**Inspiration for this came from me watching the movie again and noticing that only Thorin and Fili wear furs on top of their many layers of clothing. Dwalin has something of a fur too, but is of different style than that of Thorin and Fili, and I theorized it had to do with their status of king and his heir. If I have failed to notice some of the others wearing furs, please forgive the mistake and humor me for this fic's sake ^_^**

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Of Furs and Oaths

Part I – 45 and 40

Kili felt like his smile would tear his face apart. The last time he had gotten such a fine gift it had been years ago, a pair of knives Fili had saved up during a whole year to buy him. But this… this was his uncle in a rare demonstration of affection. Not to mention the recognition of his skills, despite his young age.

"Thank you, uncle! I can barely wait to use it!" he said, happily maneuvering his new bow and quiver with absolute care

"Just don't do it tonight during the feast. Again." A tiny smirk graces his uncle's features.

Kili offered a sheepish grin, but nodded nonetheless. That was the moment his brother came in with his mother.

"Fili, look! Uncle brought me from the south!"

"That's a fine bow, brother." Fili smiles at him and takes the weapon in his hands.

Handing him the bow for closer inspection, Kili feels his young heart flutter as his brother touched the bow and traced his fingers along the patterns. For a moment he was mesmerized by the attention Fili was giving to the tiny details, as if trying to learn the technique of construction.

"I have a gift for you as well." Thorin approached them, briefly touching his sister's arm in greeting.

"Uncle." Fili bowed his head respectfully, then returned the bow to Kili, who picked it with new reverence "You din't have to."

"I did." Thorin said, and there are many things hidden in his voice, his features turning serious. The uncle had left, the king had come "It is no weapon. And I am afraid it comes with great weight, but I want you to use it tonight when we are receiving Dain and the other dwarves from the Iron Hill in feast. You should always use them, from now on."

Curious at their uncle's grave tone, Kili watched as he delivered a package to his brother. The blonde clearly confused at the request. When the package was open, though, everything was clear.

_Furs_. A new tunic, made with furs. They were not as grand and royal as Thorin's, but furs all the same, a statement of Fili's birthright and status.

The Blue Mountains were not their home, nor it was a great kingdom, there Thorin had no rights to officially name an heir. Yet, to have his sister-son dressed in the same royal manner as him for Dain and all his followers to see… The message was clear. The line of Thror was not dead. There was a prince in making in Ered Luin and Dain would be wise to not forget that.

"Thank you, my lord. I am deeply honored." Fili's face was solemn and serious as he touched the gift, but Kili, who knew him better than anyone, could hear the strain in his voice.

Silence took hold of their little family during that significant moment, when his older brother put on his new furs and raised his head high with pride. Kili was the only one who could see the tense line of Fili's shoulders.

He wished they could be alone so they could talk properly. He knows his brother was dreading the day this would come. And truth to be told neither of them was expecting to come so early. The visit from their cousin Dain had raced things up, apparently, and Kili found himself cursing the Iron Hills dwarves in his mind. That was going to be a long feast.

xxx

Kili sees the bored look on his face. Fili might fool their guests, making them thinking he is having a lovely time with them, but he knows his brother. He knows Fili detests every minute of the conversation in which he found himself in. Also, he tries to not feel particularly pleased that his brother does his best to step aside every time stupid Uran, Daughter of Dain, gets a little bit too close – Fili is not always successful, and Kili ends up breaking more than one mug of ale every time she puts a hand on the blonde's arm (again, he tries to not be glad at the way his brother seems to cringe away from her touch).

He might as well do something about it. What were brothers for, anyway? Besides, he was getting tired. The whole thing had been dragged for over hours already, and Kili refused to leave the feast without the blonde safely away from that damned women. So, he grabs a fork – Thorin had said nothing about forks, only arrows – positioning himself behind a statue of Durin the Deathless, and throws it when he thinks the time is appropriate. The move has the right speed and force to knock out Fili's mug of ale out of his hand, but it is not weak enough that the fork would ricochet and wound anybody (he meant Fili, of course, he cared nothing for those Iron Hill dwarves).

As soon as he sees that his little trick had the desired effect – knock Fili's mug of ale on top of that dwarf's girl dress, causing quite a mess – he ducks behind his ancestor's statue. All the noise from the commotion he caused is very tempting, but after years of pulling pranks with his brother he knows better than to look again. Instead, Kili discretely goes on the opposite direction, proceeding to stop by an empty table.

Xx

Fili does his best to not laugh at Uran, who has a dumb look on her face, still trying to understand what has happened. He is not a fool to be rude in front of her kin, from the Iron Hill, but he recognizes the accident for what it is. He knows a gift when he receives one, and it's only fair for him to go and show some gratitude. Therefore, feigning a slight drunken confusion, he lets two other dwarf girls surround her – complaining loudly about Blue Mountains' drunken fools – and slips quietly away.

There is only one dwarf in Ered Luin that can do that. Knock down a mug of ale from his hand without risk of injuring him – or spilling beer all over him and those blasted furs, for that matter, since only Uran got the beer shower. That mixture of aiming, strength and _timing_ – who would know that Fili was getting bored to death and run to his rescue but Kili?

The years of getting themselves into trouble – and then getting themselves into more trouble while to get out of trouble, because there was simply no bail out in the house of Dis – have given them a certain synchrony. So Fili knows exactly where to look.

The fork should have been thrown from behind the statue of Durin the Deathless – which is so very like his brother. But Kili is no fool, so naturally he looks for his brother in the opposite direction. Instinct tells Fili, though, that such a commotion will get their mother's attention, if not Thorin's, so he double checks the crowded hall to assess their position. His uncle is in deep conversation with Dwalin, doesn't notice anything. Dis, the Ever-Watchful, however, has a scowl on her face – following her line of sight, there is his brother! If she had seen it, there was only once thing he could do. Get Kili out of there, to at least postpone the lecture.

xx

The first thing Kili sees is his mother looking at him with a scowl from the other side of the room, yet he cannot find de decency to look ashamed, because the next second he catches sight of Fili going towards him, a pleased smirk on his face.

"You have no idea what just happened." His brother said, feigning ignorance at his small trick.

"Oh, sorry, I was a bit distracted." Kili answered, not bothering to hide the sarcasm. When he saw their mother coming their way, however, his smirk disappeared "Why don't you tell me on the way _out_ of here?"

"Mother is coming, isn't she?" Fili asked, smirking nonetheless, and pulling him from the sleeve of his tunic "Come then, little brother. Before either the fury of Dis or the persistence of Uran finds us."

Kili followed willingly, feeling much more at ease already, even if there was an angry dwarf mother out to scold them sooner or later. They managed to walk graciously out of the great hall, expertly avoiding any dwarf that could pull them into a conversation circle. But nothing held them when they were out in the corridors. They shared a look, a small smirk, then launched themselves into a sudden run. See? That was much much better. That was where Fili belonged, running with him, not entertaining boring Iron Hill dwarf women.

They crossed the outer halls, took the descending stone stairs, followed the disused tunnels to reach their secret place. No bedroom for them tonight, otherwise they would be woken up by a very angry mother on the next day.

Their secret place was nothing but a hole on the wall really, where the miners had already extracted all the gold they could. It had been found by them when Kili was still fifteen and had gotten lost in the mines, being rescued by a worried to death Fili. With time they had managed to smuggle down there enough things to make it comfortable. A few chairs, some furs to serve as a bed large enough for both of them, lots of coal and candle, and some ale of course.

It was a bit hard to pass through the narrow passage to their hole while panting hard from all the running, and as soon as they managed that, Fili threw himself upon the furs, breaking with laughter. Soon enough Kili joined him. Despite out of breath, it was very refreshing to see his brother like this again.

After they calmed down, he watched as Fili sat to get rid of the furs that their uncle had given him that night. It did not escape Kili that the action seemed to take a tense line that had been installed in his brother's forehead ever since he put those on.

"Good thing _someone_ knocked down my mug of ale all over poor Uran." The blonde said, smirking at him. Soon enough, the smirk turned into a grateful smile "Thank you, brother. I'll make sure you are not alone when mother finds you."

"You better!" Kili teased, elbowing him "Besides, this is going to cost you."

"Oh, really? And what could you possibly want from me that you don't already have, dear brother?" Fili asked, an amused glow filling his blue eyes.

_You._ Kili thinks wildly for a moment, not quite understanding what that meant, right before he answers a more subtle response very similar to a request he used to make when they were very little "Your undivided attention the whole night!"

Xx

Fili laughs. Finally the night has taken a good turn. Between being given bloody royal furs to wear and having to make polite conversation with Dain's daughter, there had been nothing but worry and boredom in his mind the whole evening. Most likely Kili has no idea how much he needed this get-away, no one but the two of them laughing in the same room – or hole, for that matter.

Giving Kili his undivided attention is something he is very used to doing, even if some part is done subtly in his mind, when the other is not looking. Ever since he was five years old Fili charged himself with the safety of his little brother – and while he understood that Kili needed space to thrive on his own as they grew up, he could count on one hand's fingers how many times he has drifted his eyes from his most precious kin (he does not bother to remember, for they are far too sad and frightening, serving as reminders that he should always be watchful).

Briefly, he catches Kili looking at the furs he has discarded from the corner of his eyes. Sighing, Fili closes his eyes, because he knows they will have to talk about it sooner or later.

"We need to talk about it." Kili says, dragging the thoughts out of his mind, as usual.

"What is there to talk about?" he asks, unsurprisingly bitter. You cannot blame Fili for wanting to hold on to their previous laughing moment. Not when he'd been craving for it the whole night.

"I know…" his brothers starts, assuming a thoughtful expression before going on "I know that it's not as if you have a choice on the matter. But if I cannot wear them for you, and I assure you, I don't want to, I don't envy you… then at least share whatever you can from that burden with me, even if through mere words."

Fili sighs again. He doesn't want, although he really really does. It's not fair to put these things in Kili's mind – he was the younger, he was not supposed to lift a weight that was not meant for him. And yet, it's been a long time since Fili has known anything different from sharing everything with his brother. Was that a weakness? Thorin never did that to his mother, even though he trusted her in many matters of the state.

"This things is awful. They are heavy, difficult to move under, and far too warm to be used under the mountain halls. I don't know how Uncle manages to look royal all the time." He is spilling before he can register, the thoughts of weakness losing the war against the need for sharing. His complaints manage to steal a laugh from Kili, though, so he feels a little bit better.

"We'll get them adjusted for you in the morning." His brother says with a smirk, but honest will to help in his voice "But I'm sure you don't have to wear them _all_ the time."

"Do you ever see Uncle without his unless he is working in the forge?" Fili asks, finally revealing the sad look he'd been holding since the beginning of the evening "No, brother. These furs came to stay."

They share a sad silence for a moment, pondering over what changes that would bring. They had always been princes in name, now they would have to really act like it – Fili at least, although he was sure his brother would try to do the same for his sake. This is one of the things that sadden him the most, because he loathes the thought of Kili locked up in that cage of proper behavior and responsibility. Kili belongs running like mad, discovering abandoned tunnels to serve as good hide-outs when the need to escape their mother's wrath arises.

"For what's worth, I'm staying too." Kili breaks the silence at last, his voice only a little higher than a whisper.

"What—"

"We are brothers. We are supposed to help each other. I know I cannot wear those furs for you…" the sudden stubborn look on his brother's face makes Fili's heart skip a beat. What was Kili thinking now? He knew from the way that the other lifted his chin high that it was something important "But I can give my life to you."

It takes a moment of mutual staring – Kili defiant and Fili stunned – before he is up on his feet, adrenaline at the absurdity of that offer coursing through him. If he had understood correctly, he has to take that idea out of his brother's mind immediatly.

"Kili, no. NO!"

"Yes!" Kili stands too, raising his chin "I will not let you do this alone!"

"But Kili… you don't have to… you…" Fili is feeling quite desperate. He cannot steal his brother from his freedom "You cannot know what you are talking about. You are young and still has a lot to enjoy in life, and—"

"So are you!" Kili interrupts, there is something like rage in his young voice now "You are only five years my elder and yet they have burdened you with this destiny! I can't stand how unfair Uncle and Mother and all our cousins are. They hold us back for being children at the same time they put you in furs and show you off to Dain's house! They spent a fortune we don't have to throw a feast and expose you to the dwarves from the Iron Hills!"

His brother's words inflamed him like fire. Kili was always good at saying all the things he was not brave enough to voice out loud. It was a dangerous path of thought, though. Fili was getting too tempted in accepting the oath his brother wanted to offer.

"This is madness, Kili." He waves his head, trying his best to resist the seducing notion of having his brother's life pledged to him. Fili knew of greed only from watching on others, never he knew it would be like this. Wanting something so much that all logical thought is expelled from the mind. But, _no_. This is _Kili_, his _brother_ "You cannot give up everything you can be just because—"

"And why should you give up everything you can be just because of our Durin blood?" Kili cuts his sentence yet again, relentless "I know you, brother. I know you will always perform your duties, but I know you care nothing for a crown and that your eyes find a forge much more interesting. Don't you remember I was there when you and mother argued over you not being allowed to become an apprentice?"

Once again the silence fills the air between them. Fili would never forget. Kili's arms over his shoulder that night had been the only thing that had kept him from breaking. Their mother could be more ruthless than Thorin when concerning the pride of Durin's House.

Xx

"My life is yours, brother." Kili insisted, taking a step closer to his elder "If you really have to fulfill this duty and be king, then my life is yours."

He watched the turmoil in Fili's blue eyes raging too intense for him to understand what was going on in his mind.

"Fili, let me share your burden—"

"We have a king. If you are caught swearing your life to a princeling they will… punish you, severely, in the very least. Then they will pull us apart." The blonde whispered, turning to look at the ground "I would not stand that."

"Neither would I. Which is why they will never know." He said, going close enough to put his hands on his brother's shoulders "You will wear those awful furs and I will keep my hair without braids. Mother does not allow us apprenticeship, anyway. Nobody will know until the day that I can make this compromise in public… my king."

"Don't say that!" Fili's head shoots up "I am not king, yet."

"But do you accept my pledge of servitude and loyalty?" Kili is not sure why he is so insecure about his brother's answer, he just knows that he has never been so sure of wanting anything as he was of that in his short life. He would go wherever Fili went, help him in whatever he did. It was the least he could do after the other was already carrying the terrible burden of being the heir. "If our places were reversed, you would do the same."

This seems to sway Fili at last. He can see blue eyes acknowledging the truth of that statement. These two duties, king and pledged-to-king, had been there long before they were born. The filling of these roles was decided merely by chance. No matter to which of them the crown went to, the other would be there to support.

The larger hands of his brother grabbed both his arms, and he bumps their forehead together, somewhat following the tradition of this particular oath but neither of them bothering with all the formalities. Their bond was enough to seal the promise.

Part II – 65 and 60

It takes twenty long years before Fili sees his brother coming of age, but when he finally does, there is no time wasted.

He had had his eyes on the little quarters for a few years now. It was so high in the mountain city that it had a small opening to see the sky – it was really a very cheap place, in a neighborhood where only poor, hardworking dwarves lived. It was perfect for them, even though it had only two pavements carved into the mountain outer rocks. The one below had space enough to be divided into a kitchen and a forge, the one above would serve as bedroom and washing room – they had always shared a room, anyway, so lack of space would never be a problem.

Of course, his mother is seething when they tell her the news. That they had managed to extract some knowledge out of Gloin and that they had saved up what little gold they had to open a forge of their own.

"It is not proper for two Heirs of Durin to work like this, for all of Ered Luin to see you like beggars." She says, trying to put some sense in their heads.

"We would not be beggars if you had let us become apprentices." Fili says back, stubbornly. This matter is something that he doesn't think he will ever forget about his mother.

"A simple forge is no place for you!" she insists.

"Gloin has a forge, and he has no shame in that." This time Kili retorts "He is a brave warrior, but when there is no battle to fight he puts down the ax and picks up the hammer. … Father had a forge."

This is the one thing Fili had been avoiding to say, but he knew Kili would end up drawing that card sooner or later. For a moment guilt tugged at him as he saw their mother briefly touch the long blond braid surrounding her waist. But it was gone the moment she hid her sadness away and glared at them.

"I will bring this matter to your uncle."

_King_. Fili corrects her in his mind bitterly, because they haven't had an uncle in a long time. _She means king_.

Ever since he had been given those furs, two decades ago, the uncle had turned permanently into a king and the nephews into princes.

Somewhat surprisingly, though, Thorin says is a good idea, that the boys learn how to fend for themselves. It made sense, of course, because king or not, he still went from time to time to look for work on the villages of men, to get coin and trade for things that would improve the life of the dwarves living in Ered Luin.

Fili suspected that in Thorin's eyes, they were simply following in his steps and the king approved of that. (The furs his uncle had given were still uncomfortable to be wear, yet he goes on wearing them as is his duty) It was the truth, in a sense, but not the main purpose of their decision. They were leaving their mother's house because they wanted a place of their own. Also, specifically in his case, he needs to be out of her sight because in the end she is still his mother and she knows him. And she knows of the wrong feelings that have rooted in his heart.

Sometimes, when he is lost in his shameful habit of staring too long at Kili, Dis glares a warning at him that she knows how he feels. As if Fili didn't already know how twisted and disgusting he was for being in love with his own brother. He is already too consumed by guilt without her looking at him as if he was a monster. Sometimes he felt like one, too. Only a monster would lust after his little brother.

Over the years, Kili had grown and filled in the right places, becoming one of the most handsome dwarves in Ered Luin. And Fili's greatest temptation as well. The pull that his brother had always have over him only grew, turning him into a dwarf greedy for Kili's attention and presence. Good thing that they were always together in a natural sort of way, otherwise he would have gone mad. The guilt was already driving him insane, as he craved for his brother while Kili innocently relished their brotherly love, still coming to share a bed in the middle of the night because it was more comfortable.

Of course, it was not as if he planned acting on it – oh no, he had already taken so much from Kili's life, his dark hair still braidless even after twenty years. He knew that his brother would most likely join the mountain guard for training if not for him, so insistent on leaving home. It had been a real war in his heart, but in the end he could not refuse when Kili said he would follow him anywhere. Therefore, feeling guilty due to his wrong desires and because of being unable to deny him, Fili would not impose that wrongness on him. This was a burden he would carry alone.

"As long as they carry on weapon training, I see no problem. It might do them good." Their uncle/king says in the end, and Fili sees the warning gaze on his mother's features.

_Don't worry, mother._ He tries to convey through his eyes. _I will not corrupt him._

xx

Kili had always thought that moving out of his mother's house would make their lives much better. And it did, in a sort of way.

First, because he didn't have to wake up and see the judging in his mother's eyes. Yes, he was sixty years old and yes, he still liked to share a bed with his brother. Granted, it had been some time since his reasons for climbing up under the covers with Fili had changed, but the blonde didn't know that, so their mother had no business looking down at him as if he was an insect. Now that it was just the two of them, he can wake up without worry, and pretend that his brother loves him back in a not so brotherly way for a few moments before they have to work.

Second, because it is much easier now to steal glances at Fili when he is not looking. There wasn't a more handsome looking dwarf in Middle-Earth, Kili was sure of it. All the long years of sword training and practicing with a hammer had brought muscles to his arms and chest. And the long years of having to deal with an overly strict mother and with the obligations of a prince raised in the exiled had given maturity and young wisdom, making his face even more gorgeous. Kili wouldn't even get started on the hair, but if he favored working with gold in his works it was for a very specific reason.

It had been hard at first, accepting the knowledge that his heart had chosen Fili, his own brother, to love and to pine after. It was wrong and brought many hardships to his daily life, being always so close and yet so far at the same time. But with time, Kili acquired a new perspective on the matter. Would he ever prefer to be with someone else and leave his brother alone to carry crown and kingdom and a struggling line? Would he ever be able to hold someone else in sleep and not miss the perfect warmth of Fili's body? Would love someone else feel as right as loving his brother, sinful though it was?

Kili could never imagine a world in which either of that was possible. So he embraced those painful feelings, and took joy in whatever hidden glance or innocent touch he could steal from Fili without exposing himself away.

And third, Fili didn't have to wear those damn royal furs all the time. They were a constant reminder of the duties ahead of them. Kili does not mind at all the responsibility he has taken for himself, of pledging his life to his brother. But he hates the aura of resignation that surrounds his brother every time they are called for official business. Nobody else but him notices of course, but then again nobody else loves Fili as much as he does. So, living in their forge, the furs are only necessary when they have to appear in public, and the melancholy is restricted to the moments when they must play the parts of princes.

So, it should have been perfect now that they were living alone. Except that it wasn't.

It wasn't because on their second day of independence, Fili had disappeared for two hours after the work was done. When he returned, there were two braids on his moustache. Impossible love. His brother loved someone he couldn't have.

Pain gained a new meaning. It was nothing like a sword or an arrow. It was not even ten times worse than that. The closest feeling he thought that could resemble was freezing to death.

Of course that in his mind, Kili knew logically that Fili would someday be lucky enough to find someone he liked enough to get marry. He would give sons to the Line of Durin and be a happy husband. More than once tears had escaped his eyes at this thought, but Kili never complained. Because he sustained no hope of his feelings being returned, and they both had a duty anyway. His brother to the kingdom and he to his brother. His hair lacked braids for a reason – romantic love was not meant to be a part of his life and Kili had already accepted that.

But seeing those braids… That not only meant that Fili loved someone else, but also that he was not loved back. It meant that his brother was suffering. And indeed he was. After finally being free of the vigilance of their mother, Fili was showing signs of melancholy when he thought he was alone. He still laughed and joked and jested and gave him those smiles that made Kili's heart beat _so much_ faster, but he would look deeply sad whenever he was alone.

Not to mention the hurt of not being part of that story. Kili had no idea who was the person or why the love was impossible. Fili never told him and he never asked, trying to respect his brother's clear wish for privacy, even if it was so very painful to not have his trust. Mostly he wanted to know the identity of the dwarf so Kili could go and smash him or her to the ground – no one made his brother sad and got away with it. But why wouldn't Fili tell? Why would he not share his problems? Had not Kili pledged his life to him?

It took a whole month for him to finally understand. Or at least suspect.

It was just a week before Durin's Day, and the mountain was filled with excitement. Every dwarf family was getting ready for the festivities and their small forge was full of work. There was always someone who needed something fixed for the celebration and couldn't afford more experienced forgers.

Kili was near the door, polishing a few pots to be delivered that afternoon while Fili's hammer was rhythmically bending some metal. Then a young dwarf came in, an easy grin on his face and arms full of metallic objects.

"Hello." The dwarf smiled from behind a small red beard "I've seen this shop a few times before when I was dealing around here. It is new, is it not?"

"Yes, we've opened just a month ago. Me and my brother." Kili answered, putting the pot aside and offering a polite smile. He doesn't quite like the way the dwarf is looking at him, but they are not in a position to turn down customers so… "What can I do for you, sir?"

"Oh, please. Not sir. Hugrin will suffice."

"Well, _Mister_ Hugrin, what can I do for you?"

The red headed dwarf seems amused at his insistence at being formal, but smiles nonetheless, a bit too gleamingly in Kili's opinion.

"Oh, I was just cleaning my house, you know, for Durin's Day and I ended up with this load of metal that I have no use for, but that can be re-forged. So I thought I'd do something good to finish the year." Hugrin came closer and his eyes shone appreciatively at Kili "I thought it would be more useful to a recently opened forge than to me, so…"

As much as the presence of that dwarf bothered, spare metal was something that they were in need of. It was the path to selling their own products instead of just repairing broken objects.

"Metal is always welcome. How much are you asking for this much?" Kili asked, despite dreading the idea of making business with this Hugrin fellow with each second that passed.

"How much? Oh, please, don't offend me." Hugrin placed his broken metallic objects on the ground and laid a hand on his arm, eyes gleaming "I could just give you these…"

His first reaction was to simply raise an eyebrow at the dwarf, looking from the hand on his arm to his eyes full of malice. Was he being serious with that offer? Was that dwarf mad or he truly didn't know to whom he was talking to? One had to be either crazy or stupidly bold to propose such a thing to the one of the nephews of Thorin Oakenshield.

Before he could produce a proper response (in the form of a fist right into that smiling mouth), however, a hammer falls loudly between them, making Hugrin release him with a startle, his feet had been dangerously close of being broken. Kili doesn't have to look to know where the hammer had come from.

"Get your dirty hands out of my brother." Fili's voice approaches them, fury barely concealed. Soon enough the blonde dwarf points of knife at Hugrin, standing between him and Kili "You will never set foot here ever again. And if I ever catch you even _looking_ at my brother, you can be sure that I will find you and this hammer will not miss your feet. Are we understood?"

Hugrin barely nods before he turns to run away. Fili, however, pulls him back strongly, making him kneel. Then the knife that he is holding produces a quick cut on the hand that the red bearded dwarf had touched Kili with, dragging a suffering howl out of Hugrin.

"This is so that you will not forget that the dwarves of this forge are not for the taking." Fili says, his voice dangerously cold, before he finally allows Hugrin to get out of there as soon as possible.

Kili doesn't remember ever seeing his brother so enraged. Yet, he feels his chest getting warm at the protectiveness – and even possessiveness, maybe – that he saw on Fili's actions. For a moment he allows an illusion of his feeling being returned, before he slowly approaches the other and put a hand on his shoulder.

He is confused as to why Fili tenses up at his touch, but when Kili gives a squeeze he slowly relaxes.

"Thank you." he whispers, trying to soothe the anger out of his brother.

"I… I wanted to _kill_ him."

Kili can almost feel the fury coursing beneath Fili's skin. His heart skips a beat. Why would his brother be so furious? And why would he take such drastic action? Surely he knew that Kili could handle himself just fine in these situations… Could… could it be possible that Fili was… jealous? And not just because they were brothers? That tempting idea spread adrenaline in his veins and his heart raced, because this would be too good to be true. It would be a blessing that Kili is not sure he deserves, he had never been an exceptionally good person.

The shaky sigh that Fili exhales brings him back to the matter at hand. He must attend to his brother's need before indulging himself with delirious possibilities.

Pulling the blonde around to face him, Kili tries a sheepish grin.

"Well… good thing that you didn't. It certainly wouldn't be good for business."

The small joke gets a chuckle from Fili, a bit of the tension fading from his shoulders even though blue eyes remain stormy and filled with fury. It is in the middle of that fury, however, that Kili sees something else, something that had been fiercely contained before, something that gives him _hope_.

They go back to their previous activities, but as he hears the hammer being uttered with more strength than before, Kili decides that it is about time he takes some risks.

Xx

The bath had been efficient in making Fili slowly let go of the fury he had been grabbing onto during the day, even though he can still feel that damned dwarf's blood on his hand. Orcs apart, it was the first time that he had wanted to _hurt_ a living being, and it was slightly scary. But the sheer memory of that disgusting creature looking at Kili is enough to make him feel good about the way he had reacted.

Secretly, today he had enjoyed the fact that Kili had sworn his life to him. It had happened before, surely, but never as fiercely as today Fili felt good about knowing that his brother would never belong to another dwarf. For a single moment, he almost wished he was king already, so everyone would know why there were no braids on Kili's lustrous dark hair.

In one way, at least, Kili was his. It was bitter comfort, but a comfort still.

Fili knows he should feel bad for having condoned with his brother choosing a lonely life, never looking for love, because of that idiotic insistence on sharing burdens. Why couldn't Kili simply let him bear the weights he must? Instead, the brunette tempted him with that promise of being always together. A together that was not even close to what Fili truly desired.

"Brother, come! I've prepared some food for us!" Kili's eager voice calls him from the stairway, and even though he is embarrassed from his actions, Fili can never deny going when his brother calls. So he leaves the water and gets dressed, taking comfort in the fact that at least the other was not horrified by his admission of wanting to kill that bastard.

Then, as he reaches their small kitchen, Fili is hit with an unexpected scene.

There are candles everywhere and a good smelling dinner rests upon their small wooden table. But Kili… Ah, Kili… why do you do this to me?

There standing by the table, Kili was waiting for him. Fresh, light clothes that were resumed to a white linen shirt and brown leather pants. And his hair – his usually lustrous _braidless_ hair – completely divided into two simple braids. Braids that call for a companion.

Feeling his heart beating heavy against his chest, a sudden fear gets hold of him. What if someone saw _it_?! What if someone saw it and got terrible disgusting ideas like the bastard from that afternoon?! How could Kili play with danger like this? He should know how much half the dwarves in the Blue Mountains wants a chance with him – Fili included. Then, in that moment something snaps inside him.

"Take those out." He growls the order, clenching his fists closed so he will not go and do that himself.

"What?" Kili seems surprised.

"The braids. Out." Fili says slowly and breathing hard, nothing made much sense, he just knew that he had to avoid that other dwarves saw his brother like this. Kili is _his_. "You made an oath. Abide to it!"

"I made an oath, yes." Kili raised his chin in his usual stance of defiance "I made an oath to _you_. You come here and unweave these braids."

Fili's sight is slowly spinning, until all he can see is his brother challenging him to an act that they both know very well what it means. Asking for someone to unweave that type of braids is a very direct way to tell a person that is not just a companion you are looking for, but that specific person's company instead. His heart is racing faster and faster at this… this chance that fate presented him, and 'I made an oath to _you_.' is ringing in his ears.

He does not remember crossing the distance between them, but he is completely aware of how Kili's body fits perfectly against his when Fili's arms surround him, lips crashing with passion and longing and sudden clarity about everything they are. Brothers and more, souls bound together in the forges of fate.

Xx

The euphoria that fills Kili's body is impossible to describe. He goes willingly into his brother's embrace, kissing back furiously with all the feelings that he had kept hidden all those years.

Fili's hands are everywhere over him, touching and gripping, bringing their bodies closer. Kili understands. He doesn't think he'll be able to let go of him so soon, not after waiting so long. He needs that proximity, those desperate kisses that are being placed in his neck.

"You idiot!" the blonder whispers, their foreheads together "Don't scare me like that!"

In an instant, the braids on his hair are gone. Fili's arms surround his neck as they pant, looking into each other's eyes.

"There, I unwove them." His brother said, giving him a sudden insecure glance "Will you be mine, then? Completely? And have me as yours..."

The joy – the _relief_ – that courses through his veins is so sudden that Kili loses his breath for a moment. This is it. This is _right_. Frowned upon or not, forbidden or not, incestuous or not, the feelings that are pouring from Fili's eyes like untamed waves are what he'd been hoping for his entire life. It's running like madmen through the mountains tunnels; it's finishing each other's sentences and just _knowing_ that they have always to be together, despite how the other kids laughed at them. It was what truly made their bond so strong. They belonged to each other.

And Kili would claim his belongings, before another dwarf discovered the treasure that he was holding in his arms.

The way upstairs is clumsy, filled with kisses and eventually one of them pining the other against the wall, a leg expertly position against a groin. The clothes are lost along the way, until at one point Kili lifts his head from the trail of kisses he is placing upon a pale chest filled with blond, curly hair, to see Fili's head thrown back in pleasure.

The furs on the bed are from their old home, big and fluffy – it's the first time Kili likes the sight of furs contouring his brother's features. And it's not long before said furs are stained with their seed and sweat from both of them. They only laugh at their mess, trade hot kisses and reverent touches, then proceed to make more mess until they are both spent and satisfied.

"We'll have to get new furs for the bed… for when these are washing." Fili comments idly while stroking his chest, a silly grin on his face.

"We'll have to get new clothes for you… for when I rip yours apart." Kili whispers huskily in his ears, approving the way it makes his brother shiver. They exchange more lazy kisses, rolling upon their ruined bedclothes.

Nonetheless, the matter of furs takes him back to a conversation shared twenty years ago by two brothers that knew nothing about these new feelings except the pull that had always existed between them.

"The braids tonight… they were just to get your attention. I stand by my oath." Kili says, turning his brother so they can look into each other's eyes.

"Kili, not now…"

He understands Fili's reluctance. He too wishes they could just live inside that happy bubble, ignoring the outside world. But the world would not ignore them, and now more than never, Kili knew it was his mission to keep his brother safe and prepared to face what was ahead of them. The child he had been had not known what would become of them – or perhaps he did but lacked the understanding, it mattered not – but the feeling of devotion had always been true.

The path ahead would be hard, too much filled with family duty and honor. Kili had no doubts regarding this. But it was fine. Difficult as it might be – as it's going to be – they will be with each other, sharing their burdens, their sinful secrets. Thorin must never know of their betrayal, for it was a betrayal of some sort, their line would die with them and all the effort of showing Fili off to Dain would be in vain. But Kili also has no doubts that it's still better than the other option, in which he cannot touch his brother like this. So Thorin must never know and they will share this new burden of lying to their uncle.

"My life is yours, brother." He repeated his words "For my love and for the king that you will be, my life is yours."

Fili gasps, looking at him with admiration, gratitude and love – so much love – that Kili is embarrassed for a moment. He _still_ doesn't know if he deserves this.

"Do you accept my pledge of loyalty and servitude? Of love?" he asks, again following tradition but not quite so.

"For as long as I live, your life will be bound to mine." Fili answers properly this time, accepting completely what Kili wants to offer him.

Kili shakes his head then, joining their foreheads "For as long as our souls exist, mine will be bound to yours, my king."

He repeats that many times through their lives. Fili sometimes scolds him for calling him king while he still wasn't, but there was always a kiss afterwards and Kili knows his eyes are not fooling him when he sees that his brother is wearing the furs a bit more comfortable, now that it has a new meaning for them. (Very soon in their relationship they admit is quite nice to rub against each other surrounded by the soft feeling of the furs.)

-Fim-

**Xxxxxxxxxxx**

**I'm sorry it turned out a bit long. I just wanted very much to write about what Fili says on my other fic XD. I hope you've liked it!**

**Thank you for all the reviews, by the way! I had no idea my fics would ever get this much love…. *blushing!***


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